March 11, 2021

Muddy Mama Origin Story

Because every blog has an origin story….here’s mine.

In December of 2020, I joined nearly 3 million women across the US who have left the workforce during the COVID-19 pandemic. For me, it was a choice (rock and a hard place kind of choice, but still a choice). I recognize my own privilege in being able to make this decision for our family and that many don’t have the choice. This post is not intended to advocate for stepping out of the workforce, but to share my family’s experience.

We made it seven months into the COVID-19 pandemic with my husband and I working and schooling from home, and I am proud of us for it, but we were going to break. The day that pushed us over the edge was a frenzied mess like every other. My husband trying to keep the kids focused on a computer screen they rebelled constantly against (wiggly Kindergarteners do not like Zoom calls); him rushing to work after a frustrating morning, and me in another long slog of back-to-back meetings. At some point, I peeled myself from my chair that my body becoming one with to find my girls’ chalkboard blocking the entrance to the kitchen. On it, my oldest daughter had drawn a picture of herself crying and daddy looking a lot like angry Shrek (see below). I broke into a million pieces.

My husband and I had been barely holding our family together for months. To make it work (and I use the word work lightly) my husband managed the morning school routine with our then three-year-old and five-year-old and we hired a nanny to take over the afternoon shift. I helped with snacks and lunch, worksheet prep, and logging onto Zoom, but my 9-5 (6,7,8…) kept me very busy. My role fell under crisis management, and I wrote a lot of COVID communications y’all. We were stressed out, sleep-deprived, lonely, and basically paying a second mortgage to cover the costs of childcare.

I was rarely able to sign off early enough to make dinner; too often the kids got parked in front of the TV at the end of the day when childcare wasn’t available, and my Kindergartner was struggling to find her way through school and learning how to use a computer at the same time.

And to be honest, our work-life juggling act had been wildly out of wack for years before the pandemic. Pre-COVID times, the girls attended preschool from 8 AM-6 PM Monday – Friday, 365 days a year (minus holidays). Too often, we ordered take-out, and our nightly routine involved getting home from school, rushing to eat dinner, fights over homework, and a super stressful bedtime routine that often didn’t have our girls falling asleep until way past nine o’clock. Weekends were cleaning and shopping so that we could do it all over again Monday. The pandemic just intensified problems that already existed.

We spent the summer of 2020 discussing the pros and cons of raising our family on one income (and crunching a lot of numbers). I’ve been the primary breadwinner since the children were born while my husband stepped back to take the lead on school and home. While I can’t/and wouldn’t take back the years I’ve given to work (I might change the way I did some things), being at home with them, but not being able to truly be with them, made me realize how much of their early childhood I’ve missed and how much I want to slow down the last years of their littleness. I want to jump into the thick of their childhood. When it rains, I want to let them play in mud puddles, and when it’s sunny, I want us to soak it all in.

At the time of this writing, it’s been three months since I’ve left the workforce. Establishing new and healthy routines for my family has been a challenge, but we are doing so, so, so much better. We’re getting outside and playing a lot more, and while we aren’t loving virtual/hybrid school, we’ve been able to reduce the number of meltdowns we have each week and increase engagement in class. Some days I struggle because so much of my identity was tied to my job, but I’m also enjoying having the time to soak in parenting resources, dive deep into my kiddos’ education, and even try a few new things for myself (jump rope anyone?).

I created MotherhoodintheMud to share our crafts, cooking, and play with anyone who may enjoy them. I’ll also be writing about our wins and failures as we try to forge a new path forward for our family in a post-COVID era. But mostly this blog is here to provide me with a record of our adventures for when our girls are grown and an outlet for my writing.

If you enjoy it, that’s great, too.